Dependable Renegade

"Our Speaker is a girl, too, you know."

REUTERS/Larry Downing

Make sure you speak reeeeal slow, George.  Then she'll understand.

"she thinks you're really Liza Minelli."

Ariel Schalit/AFP/Getty Images

"Heh, nobody'll notice if Ah let one rip."

REUTERS/Larry Downing

"No, really, George. It's the original Grail.

Go ahead, drink!"

Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Oh, dear. He chose . . . poorly.

"Y'know what would look real good at this Masada place?

A big limestone cross! Ah'll git one for ya, Elmo."

REUTERS/Larry Downing

"Huh. Ah never seen a rock garden before."

REUTERS/Larry Downing

Taking a breather.

EPA/STR

[h/t reader EF]

"Now watch this dismount, Shymon."

AP/Haraz N. Ganbari

"They think Ah'm serious about this peace bizness!"

AP/Haraz N. Ghanbari

"Booooooooooooo-ring!"

REUTERS/Gary Hershorn

An open letter to the Metropolitan Transit Authority.

Fuck. You.

No, seriously.  You jack up fares, and then wonder why people bitch when they've been sitting on the "L" train for 15 minutes, waiting for it to move, before you get your shit together to announce that there's on "ongoing investigation at Union Square" and therefore, no "L" train service between Eighth Avenue and Broadway Junction.

Any of you corporate muckety mucks actually take the train to work?

I thought not.

Looks like somebody got the dosing for the flight.

Deportees shot up with psychotropics for flights home.

Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images

"You got any undisclosed golf courses 'round here?

"'B'tween you an' me, Ah been jonesin' for a game."

REUTERS/Gil Cohen Magen

Un. Fucking. Believable.

I'm reprinting this in toto because what Brandon highlights just so fucking offensive to anyone with a goddamned pulse. From VetVoice:

Bush Finally Speaks to the Ultimate Wartime Sacrifice
by: Brandon Friedman
Tue May 13, 2008 at 19:32:14 PM EDT

With the ghosts of Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Eisenhower looking down, President Bush finally admitted today that he has been touched by the true cost of war:

For the first time, Bush revealed a personal way in which he has tried to acknowledge the sacrifice of soldiers and their families: He has given up golf.

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

In unity and spirit with Americans who will never see a child or a parent again on account of his policies, George W. Bush made the heart-wrenching decision to take a five-year hiatus from the game. He chose to make this sacrifice several months after the invasion of Iraq.

Bush said he made that decision after the August 2003 bombing of the United Nations headquarters in Baghdad, which killed Sergio Vieira de Mello, the top U.N. official in Iraq and the organization's high commissioner for human rights.

"I remember when de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man's life," he said. "I was playing golf - I think I was in central Texas - and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, 'It's just not worth it anymore to do.'"

In a just world, words like these would cause our nation's capital to come to a screeching halt. But not in today's America. In today's world, sacrifice is defined in terms of not being able to afford a Hummer; of having to see a few images of war on TV; and of giving up golf.

If past Commanders-in-Chief were alive, they'd wretch at such a statement from this wartime "leader." Imagine Washington at Valley Forge. Imagine Lincoln on the eve of the Civil War. Imagine what Truman went through in August 1945. And then listen to this asshole:

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

Of course, George Bush, Sr.--a combat veteran himself--was never so crass when he made the decision in 1991 to commit the most troops to combat since Vietnam. And if he wasn't ashamed of his son before, I think it's pretty safe to assume he will be now.

As are we all.

Here: take your blood pressure medicine.

It's official: John McCain is now whiter

than Michael Jackson.

Craig Mitchelldyer/Getty Images

"Do I have to go back to work?"

It's a spectacular spring day in NYC.

"I'm ready to fight aliens, J.

Huh?  What do you mean 'extraterrestrial'?"*

AP/Jeff Chiu

*Don't make me explain this joke.

Late Nite at the 'Lake.

Wedding wrap-up...

"We're gonna build a bigger cross

fer Barbara's weddin'!"

AFP/Mandel Ngan

Somebody nudge Laura. She looks like she's gonna nod off there.

Still riding high from the "cigarettes" she shared

with Henry's Kappa Alpha brothers, Bar braves the elements.

AP/Lawrence Jackson

In which Lily exacts her revenge.

Lily Allen - "Smile"

NotJenna planned on re-enacting

a scene from "Antigone".

Shealah Craighead/AFP/Getty Images

Was there nobody around to fix Henry's jacket for the album photo?

Oh, dear. Somebody put NotJenna's head

on backwards.

WH/Sheleah Craighead

"Jenna, who's the black guy?!"

WH/Sheleah Craighead

Did I call the "shiny" on Pickles or WHAT?

AP/WH/Shelagh Craighead

Irony, thy name is "Crawford".

REUTERS/Larry Downing

And congratulations to your dad, too, Jenna.  Oil hit $126/barrel on Friday.

Oh. My.

From McClatchy:

Approximately 200 guests were invited, but for the rest of us, Crawford was as close as we could get.

“Even though you can’t see it, you can breathe the same air they are breathing,” said Mary Wood, who drove from San Antonio to spend the day in this small town. “I just had to be here to say I was here for it.”

Because nothing says "Classy!" more

than crass commercialism.

Mousepads? What about the kneepads?

Mmmm...leather announcements. Kinky.

"Honey, let's always remember this special day with a cow skull."

All photos: REUTERS/Larry Downing

I wonder what the Red Bull shop is going to do with all the leftover inventory.

ZOMG, it's the BIG DAY!

REUTERS/Larry Downing

Not exactly what I'd want to have my morning cup of coffee in...

How to spend a Friday night.

[h/t queek]

UPDATE: Four Legs Good has an alternate version...

The Three Amigos - Large Type Edition.

AP/Jeff Chiu

Nice healthy glow you got goin' on there, Magoo.

Time Magazine honors John McCain as

one of the "100 Crankiest Geezers in the World".

AP/Jeff Chiu

Even the smile looks painful.

Time to wheel out the poster again...

Michelle and Jim-Bob Duggar expecting their 18th child.

I need a vacation.

I had a dream last night that Jenna Bush married Pete Wentz.  And that she had some serious ink on her right shoulder.  And that she was a cool person.

No more spicy food for me after 7 p.m.!

Worst. Campaign. Ad. EVAR!

And it's REAL!