Dependable Renegade

"It's just honey!"

[h/t Levistus]

NOW can we have the plague of frogs?

Another oil platform explodes in the Gulf, and now an oil tanker runs aground up in Canada's Northwest Passage.

Drill, baby, drill.

What's next? Live rounds to protest Park51?

9/11 is going to be fucking unbearable in this neighborhood.

Via Gawker.

UPDATE: And FUCK YOU, TOO, Arye Sachs.

I see what you're doing there.

Waaaait for it...

I know, I know. WTF with two cat videos in a row? But what would you rather have -- another Sarah Palin post?

Via Buzzfeed.

"YAY, 2na 4 lunch! U?"

Via Americablog.

[h/t peterr]

Nothing says "Opportunism" like a

Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin "Volk-Fest" on 9/11.

Palin's reps swear she's not announcing her Presidential run.

Me, I'm thinking they're going to announce that she's marrying off Willow and Bristol to be Beck the Mormon's second and third wives.

Charming.

Judging from your wheels, I'm assuming there's not much to "bullow".

Via Gothamist.

Oh, SNAP!

Hoist on her own rpetard!

I think I like the first video better.

But this one's fun, nonetheless.

Cee-Lo Green: "Fuck You" (Take Two)

Bitch, please.

Oy, vey. Meghan "Twitter Tits" McCain's new pamphlet has hit the stores. Good to see she hasn't really bothered with the whole self-awareness thing:

"The Palins were nice and down-to-earth. I've said that before. And I mean no disrespect to them when I say this, but when they arrived from Alaska and unpacked their bags, they brought dramas, stress, complications, panic, and loads of uncertainty. And they brought a tabloid-attention-getting quality my family has never had--and God willing, never will."

So what was the whole Tila Tequila epoch all about then?

Oh, so that's what he was wearing

under his "Mauitanians have slaves" t-shirt:

Via Buzzfeed

.

"Timmy, I said QUIT IT!"

"Now, boys..."

The bebbehs at the Denver Zoo! Via Zooborns.

"YOU LIE!"

Real honorable, Beck, lying to all those old white people:

During his much-ballyhooed "Restoring Honor" rally on Saturday, Glenn Beck told a whopper involving the founding father who was supposedly unable to tell a lie: George Washington.

...

Beck also invoked Washington while describing the inspiring experience of visiting famous tourist destinations around the nation's capital. "I have been going to Mt. Vernon," he explained. Holding out his hands for emphasis, he declared with emotion, "I went to the National Archives, and I held the first inaugural address written in his own hand by George Washington."

It was an eyebrow-raising revelation and certainly an original image: Beck cradling the actual words of the first president. But would the persnickety gatekeepers of the nation's historical legacy at the National Archives allow some talk show bombthrower to put his mitts on a rare (and fragile) artifact? The answer, it turns out, is no way. Beck was not telling the truth.

Like everything else Beck says or does, the truth is just an obstacle in the way of a quick buck.

Juuuuuuuuicy!

Palin under the Vanity Fair microscope, and it ain't pretty:

During the campaign, Palin lashed out at the slightest provocation, sometimes screaming at staff members and throwing objects. Witnessing such behavior, one aide asked Todd Palin if it was typical of his wife. He answered, “You just got to let her go through it… Half the stuff that comes out of her mouth she doesn’t even mean.” When a campaign aide gingerly asked Todd whether Sarah should consider taking psychiatric medication to control her moods, Todd responded that she “just needed to run and work out more.” Her anger kept boiling over, however, and eventually the fits of rage came every day. Then, just as suddenly, her temper would be gone. Palin would apologize and promise to be nicer. Within hours, she would be screaming again. At the end of one long day, when Palin was mid-tirade, a campaign aide remembers thinking, “You were an angel all night. Now you’re a devil. Where did this come from?”

Can you say "PSYCHO", boys and girls? I knew ya could. And then there's this "feminist" moment:

“As soon as she enters her property and the door closes, even the insects in that house cringe. She has a horrible temper, but she has gotten away with it because she is a pretty woman.” (The friend elaborated on this last point: “Once, while Sarah was preparing for a city-council meeting, she said, ‘I’m gonna put on one of my push-up bras so I can get what I want tonight.’ That’s how she rolls.”)

Classy.

[h/t Teddy]

"Oh, god, Murkowski's conceding.

Snowzilla's tweets are going to be UNBEARABLE!"

I don't know what's worse.

Revisionist history or fucking delusional paranoia.

*Happy sigh*

Swimming buddies. Nobody tell Peggy Noonan about this.

[h/t Elliott]

This is called "reaching"

or "desperately grabbing at straws".

Do you remember when Glenn Beck promised a miracle from God at his 8-28 rally? On his Fox News program today Beck unveiled the power of the Lord through flying geese. A flyover by some geese is what Beck is citing as his miracle. Beck called it “God’s flyover.”

Beck said, “I want to show you first that miracle that happened at 10:59. There are several versions of this, or at 9:59. There are several versions of what was happening. Do we have the videotape? At 9:59, what happened was there was a flock of geese. It was a flyover if you will. Somebody caught it on tape. Here’s the flyover. This was happening just as the opening music was starting. We wanted to have a flyover, but you can’t flyover in the District of Columbia. It was perfect coordination and perfect timing. Coincidence? Maybe? I think it was God’s flyover. It was not supposed to happen. We couldn’t get a flyover. We couldn’t even get anybody dressed in a military uniform to present the flag. We tried for almost a year. We couldn’t get it done. Thank God, we had our flyover.”

Unfuckingreal. Because geese never fly south during the waning days of summer.

Seriously, Beck, if God really wanted to give you a sign, douche, he would have sent a flock of bald eagles! PATRIOTIC BALD EAGLES, WITH FUCKING AK-47s CLUTCHED IN THEIR TALONS!

Face it, douchenozzle. Your "Down with Melanin" rally was a flop.

[h/t Elliott]

Yikes!

"Hello, my name is Earl. I'll be your houseguest this weekend."

Didn't they make this movie already?

[h/t twolf]

How . . . convenient.

Beck launches his new website, "The Sun Revolves Around Me" The Blaze (rolls eyes), two days after his 8/28 publicity stunt huckster scam Elmer Gantry imitation old white people's rally.

Because he's nothing if not the consummate snake oil salesman.

White people petulantly taking back

their whiteness. Over at the Lake.

I'm sooooooo buying this for

pansypoo for Christmas!

[h/t Eli]

"I'm mellllllllllll-ting!"

Via TPM

Keep talking, Snowzilla. Every time you open your piehole, your popularity drops another point:

In a new survey released Monday, most respondents said that they do not think Sarah Palin would have the ability to be an effective president.

In the 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll, conducted Aug. 3-5 by CBS News among 847 adult respondents, 59% responded that they thought Palin could not be an effective president compared to only 26% who said that she could be.

The Twenty Percenters will never leave her.

"No worries, mate.

I got this."

[h/t Elliott]

Dear Sarah: No matter how hard you try,

87,000 is always going to be less than 1,000,000.

And hey, I really enjoyed "Mutations"; I don't think it was musically irrelevant at all.

MORAN.

Pammy Geller, Queen of Nassau County,

will be confused by this.

[h/t Kenosha Kid]

Ladies and gentlemen,

the "id" of your typical Beckhead unleashed:

Beck still won't apologize for calling Obama a racist.

Oh, he's got regrets, but still won't say he's sorry:

Fox News host Glenn Beck said Sunday that he misspoke last year when he characterized President Obama as a racist.

...

But this Sunday, when Wallace asked Beck if he regretted making those comments, Beck responded: "Of course I do."

"I don't want to retract… I want to amend that I think it is much more of a theological question," Beck said. "He is a guy who understands the world through liberation theology -- which is oppressor and victim. Racist was, first of all, shouldn't have been said. It was poorly said."

This country has contracted a nasty STD after being fucked by the Bush Administration. Beck and Palin and their ilk are the aggressive, inflamed genital warts that will never respond to treatment.

*Heavy sigh*

Double facepalm.

Maybe I wouldn't mind this "free speech" so much if Teabaggers COULD FUCKING SPELL!

Courtesy j. peach, via Gawker.

Honest to Christ,

how do you combat this level of willful stupidity?

Connie Lowe is 47, a homemaker from Parrish, N.Y., who has never voted but plans to do so this fall, moved by a new energy in the country she can't quite explain.

"It's the economy today," she said. " I want my son" -- 8-year-old Alexander -- "to grow up and be able to get a degree and get a job."

She has struggled to find work -- in a factory or day care, but jobs are scarce. She is being supported by her boyfriend, a Vietmam War veteran who has a heating and cooling business.

Her dislike over where the country is going motivated her to climb aboard one of 23 buses that came from the Albany area. "I want to fight back, get involved in what's going on," she said.

And President Obama? "Don't get me started," she said. "It's like he doesn't care. He's always off playing golf or on vacation or something. He has no idea what's going on with our boys in Iraq. He never served a day in his life."

Did Connie manage to SLEEP through 2001 - 2008?

[h/t Julia]

The White Queen proclaims,

"Patriot white no retreat, doncha know, white reload pioneering patriots! Also!"

AP

No other words necessary.

I think the picture speaks for itself.

AP

LMAO!

From LOLGOP's facebook page:

Today thousands of Americans are gathering in Washington DC for what appears to be the largest Weight Watchers meeting ever.

To counter the blinding whiteness

of the Aryan Nation Glenn Beck rally going on right now in D.C., I offer some color from the Union Square farmer's market this morning.

Somebody let me know when the "Caucasian Pity Party" is over, okay?

Hovercat is not stopping

for passengers at this time.

AP/Peter Dejong

Rescued from its Samsonite coffin,

bebbeh is on the mend.

AP/Sakchai Lalit

Extra bonus squeee: video at the link.

One of the most eloquent rebuttals

to Rush Limbaugh to date:

[h/t FourLegsGood]

No fair. He didn't call stripes or solids.

He may be dumb, but he's not THAT dumb.

Levi sez: "Bristol, maybe you should call yourself 'Kettle'?"

Levi Johnston – would-be Hollywood star and new candidate for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska – says Bristol Palin is just as hungry for the limelight as he is.

"I don't think I'm any more obsessed with making a career out of this than she is," the recent Playgirl model said in an interview that ran Friday on CBS's Early Show. "Obviously she's doing 'Dancing with the Stars'. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with any of it. I'm just taking it as it comes.

And as for that apology to almost-mother-in-law Sarah Palin? "That was something I did to make my fiancée happy," he said.

At least Levi's not a sanctimonious hypocrite.

"What did you DO, Ray?!"

It's official: Stay-Puft Marshmallows (with caffeine?!) are real.

Via The Daily What

Ooh, Snowzilla thinks she's David

to the AFL-CIO's Goliath? Beeyotch, I put my money on Goliath.

Best. Prank. Ever.

Yes, that's a certain blue British phone box on the roof at MIT . . .

via BBCAmericanGirl on Flickr

[h/t Elliott]

Seriously.

Do you think cats would EVER put up with this?