Because nothing is funnier than

a washed up, alcoholic, misogynistic, homophobic, anti-Semitic, contrarian, bloated attention whore like Christopher Hitchens.

There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.

Here's an idea, Hitch: Why don't you take your comedy act over to Henrietta on Hudson* and see how the leather dykes like your schtick?

"Hey, ladies! I'll be here all week! Try my liver - there's plenty to go around!"

via Roger Ailes (the good one). H/T attaturk.

*A drinking establishment in Greenwich Village for ladies who prefer the company of other ladies. Then again, when Hitch is the alternative, you can understand their preference.

Comments

[Attaturk]

Very nice and appropriate.

What is the opposite of a renaissance man?

hey attaturk: a pig

[tellybelly]

Considering that Snitchens is alleged to play for both teams, the homophobia would seem to be cognitively problematic.

Of course, it provides a concise explanation for the drinking unto death...

[kerril]

I hate when they use the word "lady" I really do. Underneath it means "certainly not as good as a man, but pretty and smell nice when they bath and dress up. And they laugh at my jokes and don't talk over me when I am declaming. They also don't pretend they can open doors on their own in that pushy, bitchy way those feminist have."

[xristm]

In my working days, when an all-male-except-me Board of Directors was waxing wise about women of wit and intelligence and asked me how I felt about having the field "entirely to myself" (note left-handed relegation of all the rest of womankind to dumb), I responded that I was never surprised to meet women of wit and intelligence.

What surprised me always was that anything destined to be man had managed to scramble to the edge of the primordial ooze, slither onto the slippery shore, grow legs, develop paired ganglia sufficient to permit navigation, and ultimately, learn to recognize a woman of wit and intelligence.

Actually, I'm rather fond of men. But let's face it, ladies and gents, some of 'em really are a waste of upright posture and opposable thumbs. Mr. Hitchens, it seems to me, would not be substantially worse if he still lived in the oozing edge and bore a residual tail and mere nubbins where legs might someday be.

[kerril]

Mr. Hitchens, it seems to me, would not be substantially worse if he still lived in the oozing edge and bore a residual tail and mere nubbins where legs might someday be.

actually he'd be more fun. then I could keep him in a little glass aquarium and feed him and play with him and show him to my friends like a good little pet.
All other men, the sensible, fun and non drunk angry vindictive ones, can poke him with a stick.

[Heywood Jablome]

I don't understand why more women don't prefer the company of other women, when the Male of the species has the likes of Hitch, Bish and Cheney as our showroom models.

[kerril]

Clarence Darrow, George Bernard Shaw, John Stewart, Howard Dean, Al Franken, Stephen Colbert,Bill Moyers....need I go on?

[Righteous Bubba]

I don't understand why more women don't prefer the company of other women, when the Male of the species has the likes of Hitch, Bish and Cheney as our showroom models.

Posted by: Heywood Jablome | December 06, 2006 at 12:43 PM

I sense some irony here but I can't quite isolate it.

[klyde]

Accept from what I understand the lickspittle turncoat snitchens is not an alternative. If you know what I mean.

[Mr DeBakey]

Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.

Where to begin?
A plethora of choices!
A smorgasbord, A bounty!

Mr Hitchins,
All those women you hit on
who claim to be lesbian,
they're not.
.

[rolindonut]

As Letterman said to Rush: And you can say this because you're such a fine specimen of a human being.

[Draco]

Hitchens' sentences are so badly phrased, I first thought he was praising the hefty Jewish dykes as the good comics. I can still read the paragraph that way.

Maybe his editors don't bother reading him anymore; they'd rather deal with the decently written hate mail he generates

[FastMovingCloud]

I don't believe I have ever seen anyone with cellulite on their face before. He is not good to himself (or to others).

[Pissed in NYC]

I've been to Henrietta's. Let's just say that if Hitchens went there and offended the patrons, you would find pieces of him squirreled away in corners for years.

[Pissed in NYC]

FastMovingCloud: If Hitchens has that much cellulite on his face, imagine what his ass looks like. Ok, I have to go and vomit now.

[FastMovingCloud]

Pissed in NYC: Ewwwww! I just had dinner. My turn to go throw up.

[Overendowed]

Have enjoyed a fabulous career as a househusband for two decades now. Plan to will my worthless advanced degrees to my alma mater. A marriage license is just a piece of paper. Twenty grand in student loans is a major commitment.

[Blue Gal]

linky love at BG today, dahlink.

[ollie]

Actually, I'm rather fond of men. But let's face it, ladies and gents, some of 'em really are a waste of upright posture and opposable thumbs. Mr. Hitchens, it seems to me, would not be substantially worse if he still lived in the oozing edge and bore a residual tail and mere nubbins where legs might someday be.

Posted by: xristm | December 06, 2006 at 11:53 AM
--------------------

And I am fond of women as well, though some are a also a waste of DNA as well.

[TF-MA]

Midge Decter is looking HOT!

[leslie]

"Mr. Hitchens, it seems to me, would not be substantially worse if he still lived in the oozing edge and bore a residual tail and mere nubbins where legs might someday be."

How do we know? Have you ever seen him standing upright, or walk without bumping into tables, chairs, walls, etc?

[Hattie]

My message to Hitchens: Stick it up your ass.

[Lesley]

Miserable git. I wonder when he'll hit rock bottom. Again.

[Interrobang]

All other men, the sensible, fun and non drunk angry vindictive ones, can poke him with a stick.

I want a Hitch-poking stick too! (I'm not a man. Can I have a stick anyway?)

[kerril]

Hitch Poking sticks for everyone!