Ohmigod, he's an awful WRITER, too!

There are EMAILS!!!

From Gov. Sanford,
Date: Thursday, July 10, 2008, 12:24 a.m.

“One, tomorrow leave at 5 a.m. for New York and meetings. Will think about you on its streets and wish I was going to be there later in the month when you are there. Tomorrow night back to Philadelphia for the start of the National Governor's Conference through the weekend. Back to Columbia for Tuesday and then on Wednesday, as I think I had told you, taking the family to China, Tibet, Nepal, India, Thailand and then back through Hong Kong on world wind tour. Few days home then to Bahamas for 5 days on a friend’s boat for the last break of the summer. The following weekend have been asked to spend it out in Aspen, Colorado with McCain - which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home ...

Two, mutual feelings .... You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ...

Three and finally, while all the things above are all too true - at the same time we are in a hopelessly - or as you put it impossible - or how about combine and simply say hopelessly impossible situation of love. How in the world this lightening strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure. As I have said to you before I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these feelings were contained and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and the comparing of all too many personal notes ...

Lastly I also suspect I feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly never covered before - so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know... In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.”

--------------------

From Maria,
Wednesday, July 9, 2008 8:14 p.m.

“As I told you I shouldn't have done this trip but I would have felt worst if I wouldn't have come because it was too over the date, he is a very nice guy, great heart ... but unfortunately I am not in love with him ... You are my love ... something hard to believe even for myself as it's also a kind of impossible love, not only because of distance but situation. Sometimes you don't choose things, they just happen... I can't redirect my feelings and I am very happy with mine towards you.”

--------------------

From Gov. Sanford,
Tuesday, July 8, 1:42 a.m.

“Got back an hour ago to civilization and am now in Columbia after what was for me a glorious break from reality down at the farm. No phones ringing and tangible evidence of a day's labors. Though I have started every day by 6 this morning woke at 4:30, I guess since my body knew it was the last day, and I went out and ran the excavator with lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on earth, there is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the back ground, the tranquillity that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day breaking and vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds - and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt.”

I'm gouging my eyes out as I write this.

Comments

[donna]

Oh, good grief... wouldn't it have been fun if this had all come out while he was McCain's running mate? Way more fun than Sarah and the bastard baby!

[TeddySanFran]

Yeah, that wilderness sunrise. Inside an airconditioned cab with the stereo blasting country music. Nothing like getting in touch with nature.

[watertiger]

Don't forget that low, sensual hum of the"huge" diesel engine, either.

[queasy]

world wind tour

barf.

[blogenfreude]

but hey, that would be going into sexual details ...

The one potential point of interest so far, and he blows it.

Sorry.

[Gordon]

low sensual hum...pink coming alive

A Repug pornographer. How quaint.

[karen marie]

as soon as he said he had been corresponding with his paramour by email i figured this would be coming next.

hahahahahaha

hahahaha

hahahahahahahahaha

[punaise]

"two magnificent parts of yourself"?

[watertiger]

I hate overwrought prose.

[Veritas78]

He found bliss running his excavator after sexytime? I never will understand the South.

[TeddySanFran]

omg Olbermann is reading them aloud with panflute in the background, playing "Don't Cry for Me"

[Hudson]

Awwww, he had a "special friend."

[Hudson]

Awwww, he had a "special friend."

[JDM]

Bet Jenna fucking Bush does bettah emailz.

[Elspeth Ravenwind]

He's a 'ramblin' man - jeeze - he probably thinks "succinct" is something they did together in the cabana.

And all this "God's Law" b.s. he's spouting - srsly?!???!??! The folks that bang on the loudest about "Christian this" and "Godly that" are usually the worst offenders of the very 10 Commandments they try to get displayed on government property everywhere.

Elspeth

[Michael Bérubé]

I hate overwrought prose.

Yes, after this one appreciates the Hemingwayesque directness of a Bill O'Reilly love stalking letter.

[notaboomer]

world wind tour

featuring earth wind & fire with chicago!

[Veritas78]

I'm sure it was better in the original Spanish. Because what kind of cad would sext his foreign adulteress in a tongue not native to her?

[punaise]

"likes long walks on beaches at sunset"

[punaise]

yo, Mark - spice it up a bit!

warm leatherette

[Veritas78]

Although I must admit that I am now immensely curious about seeing those breastizas magnificas -- las dos! And I'm gay, so it's kinda of a reversal of what gay marriage must be doing to straight marriages like the one El Excavator just vaciado abajo el retrete.

[litbrit]

I'm sure it was better in the original Spanish.

"Mi corazón está llorando por tí, por la voz, por el cuerpo, por el toque de tus labios..."*

You sure about that?

It's mildly randy, semi-pornish telenovela writing, really. Or else, just more Marc Anthony lyrics. In any case, not what I'd generally expect from an excavator-driving, country-music-listening Southern Republican.

(*My heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips...)

[pansypoo]

this is the guy who went after clinton for a BJ?

glass houses

[Michael Bérubé]

It's mildly randy, semi-pornish telenovela writing, really.... In any case, not what I'd generally expect from an excavator-driving, country-music-listening Southern Republican.

I blame multiculturalism.

[watertiger]

"The Lightening [sic] Strike of Love", a compendium of Republican "erotic" email coming soon from Regnery.

[moistenedbinnk]

Heh, pansypoo, Clinton wasn't after her "soul".

[snuffella]

Oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[kate]

"No phones ringing and tangible evidence of a day's labors...and I went out and ran the excavator with lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on earth, there is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the back ground, the tranquillity that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day breaking and vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds - and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt.”

Unfortunately, unlike what he imagines, his view of getting in touch with nature is shared by millions who throng state parks in RV's, string up lights, turn on the portable tube, secretly disgorge the contents of their waste tank in the lake, dig up the earth with their ATV's, spray their surroundings with anti-bug chemicals, pollute the air with their noise, exhaust and effluence and call the whole exercise relaxation and "outdoor recreation".

[kate]

"Lastly I also suspect I feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly never covered before - so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know..."

Condensed version: I'm running an entire state government, in charge of millions of people's lives everyday, have the temerity to assume moral authority over these people's lives but I haven't the cajones to pull my little tiny cranium out of my ever-tightening scrotum.

Pathetic fuck.

[watertiger]

the tranquillity that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh,

that I'm about to rip up to build a housing development!

[Itchy Brother]

the tranquillity that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh

And then ripping the shit out of it with an excavator at 5:00 AM while listening to country music. Jeebus H. Cripes some people are sick in the head.

[Itchy Brother]

Whoops, I owe Kate a coke. Didn't see the second page until just now. Brilliant minds and all...

[Lesley]

I wonder if Jezebel will post these on their "crap email from a dude" page.

I liked when he referred to The Thornbirds. Good grief! Put that "genius back in the bottle"!

[Lesley]

Like McCain, Sanford married money.

Jenny Sanford, a millionaire whose family fortune comes from the Skil Corp. power tool company, has been central to her husband's political career. She ran his congressional campaigns and his first race for governor. She was an almost daily fixture at senior staff meetings, and often could be seen driving a minivan away from the Statehouse in the mornings.

More cheese from one of Sanford's lovemails:

Afternoon projects had me outside and by days (sic) end I pretty much looked like a homeless person ... but...Enough about my love of heavy equipment and woods at sunrise ...

[dman]

Ah, Southern couth. I particularly enjoyed the part of the press conference when he waxed poetic about 'that whole sparking thing'. World Wind tour, indeed.

[watertiger]

Enough about my love of heavy equipment and woods at sunrise.

Ah, enough about his morning wood...

[DBK]

"world wind tour"

I guess this is his way of saying that he blows.

[don]

Thanks so much, WT and all the commenters...what a great way to start my day, seeing another repig hypocrite get roasted!