FOUR years it took her to figure it out. FOUR YEARS! Via Crazy Days and Nights:
It took Janine Sugawara four years of daily eating a box of Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries before she finally discovered that Crunchberries are not an actual berry and not even a fruit.
Janine was ticked off at The Cap'n so she sued him for fraud in Federal Court and said that most reasonable people would also think that a Crunchberry is a real berry.
...
The judge in the case . . . said [that] to his knowledge "there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world called a Crunchberry."
[h/t Erin]
For God's sake, someone clue her in about dingleberries, pronto!
Posted by: coozledad | June 04, 2009 at 04:49 PM
"there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world called a Crunchberry."
Wait til Count Chocula gets wind of this.
Posted by: queasy | June 04, 2009 at 05:00 PM
Did she represent herself or did some two-bit lawyer dream this up with her and represent her? I'd bet that lawyer would be known as "Crunchberry Esquire" from that point on.
Posted by: kate | June 04, 2009 at 05:06 PM
This benighted planet will never run out of stupid people.
Now I must go out to my garden and pick the season's first crop of frankenberries.
.
Posted by: spork_incident | June 04, 2009 at 05:06 PM
Hey, if the courts can create "corporate personhood" why not Crunchberries?
Posted by: War On War Off | June 04, 2009 at 05:17 PM
I'm not going near that one....
Posted by: wa ching | June 04, 2009 at 05:28 PM
She never ate lucky charms because she was afraid of breaking her teeth on the blue diamonds.
Posted by: dan mcenroe | June 04, 2009 at 05:42 PM
This beats the guy in my office who once asked me what name "Bob" was short for.
Some people reach the level of their incompetence before they finish high school.
Posted by: missy | June 04, 2009 at 06:07 PM
THEY'RE NOT REAL !!!!!!???!?????!????!?
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!
WHO KNEW !?!!?!???
Posted by: JimmyDean'sFuckedUpThirdCousinOnceRemovedClyde | June 04, 2009 at 06:10 PM
I'll bet she never knew her head was WAY up her ass, either.
Posted by: steverino | June 04, 2009 at 07:01 PM
Obviously a religious conservative Republican.
Posted by: DrDick | June 04, 2009 at 07:57 PM
Either the sugar consumed over the four years damaged her brain or she's too dumb to live. Either way, and as much as I hate the food manufacturers that produce this obvious garbage, I hope she loses.
Posted by: Lesley | June 04, 2009 at 08:39 PM
How did she avoid being eaten by the neighbor's dog when she was young?
Posted by: boomer49 | June 04, 2009 at 09:24 PM
she didn't get it when new colors were added? too many colors now. tooooo many dyes!
Posted by: pansypoo | June 04, 2009 at 10:18 PM
"How could I know my husband of 14 years was a con man? I only had the finest education you can get in America!"
Posted by: The Kenosha Kid | June 04, 2009 at 10:23 PM
Does this mean there is no reason to go koo koo for CocoPuffs? Other than all that sugar?
Posted by: Carol | June 05, 2009 at 06:09 AM
The RNC can now cancel their search for a replacement for Michael Steele...
Posted by: tellybelly | June 05, 2009 at 09:22 AM
However, the schnozberries taste like schnozberries.
Posted by: Mo's Bike Shop | June 05, 2009 at 09:26 AM
>However, the schnozberries taste like schnozberries.
Meow.
Posted by: queasy | June 05, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Kate: according to the report on the site WT linked to, the same attorneys had represented a plaintiff suing "Froot Loops" for a similar "fraud."
Posted by: Mr 618 | June 05, 2009 at 09:57 AM
I had to read the comments just to see is any other (insert choice of derogatory term) supported her . . .
Jury may still be out on that.
Posted by: John Gall | June 05, 2009 at 10:00 AM
I don't think the lack of knowledge is as bad as people are making it out to be, but the reaction should be mild embarrassment, not a lawsuit. The real idiot is the lawyer -- what demonstrable damage would this cause to the few people who don't understand it? I think this lawyer could make Amelia Bedelia rich!
Posted by: MarkC | June 05, 2009 at 10:34 AM
For God's sake, someone clue her in about dingleberries, pronto!
WIN.
Posted by: Eddie | June 05, 2009 at 11:52 AM
"these orange carrots taste musty and salty"
"Damn Oompah Lumpahs," muttered Wonka
Posted by: Mac from Oregon | June 05, 2009 at 02:41 PM
Grape Nuts are neither grape nor nut.
And I think Quaker Oats aren't made from real Quakers, either.
Posted by: TeddySanFran | June 05, 2009 at 05:05 PM
Discuss...
Posted by: wa ching | June 05, 2009 at 06:23 PM