Who's got the fork?

It needs to be stuck in Sanford.

COLUMBIA, S.C. — South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford has backed out of a promise to release personal financial records proving he did not use state money for trips to see his mistress.

On a somewhat related note, I'm seriously going to take a hostage if I hear one more guy say, "Oh, Sanford should just pack up and go to Argentina." I'm lookin' at you, Josh Marshall.

People, people, people. Don't make me say this again. This shit is Psych 101.

Last time I checked,there were TWO people in this "torrid" romance (not counting the wife). Sanford may "seem to be deeply in love with this woman" but that does not mean that she is equally "deeply in love" with him. And I'm willing to bet that she has been perfectly content having these ultra long-distance dalliances with Sanford, because this way, it keeps the romance "fresh" and within the realm of "fantasy." For god's sake, she's dating other men! Why the fuck would she want Sanford mooning and writing godawful poetry around her 24/7?

In other words, it seems awfully presumptuous (and chauvinistic) to look at this solely from Sanford's perspective. There is another person with independent feelings in the relationship, even though Sanford the narcissist (and the men who think he should pack up and move) may think that only his feelings matter.

If that's too tough to contemplate, think of it this way: why do you think they call them 'vacations'?

[/soapbox]

ADDENDUM: Okay, here's another way to look at it: Would you want the guy who very publicly made you the punchline to a REALLY bad joke moving in with you?

Eli writes in email: It's quite possible that he's in South Carolina and NOT in Argentina because Maria's just not that into him.

Hard for a narcissist to believe, but true.

Comments

[LC]

Vacations, is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[raceynora]

WT - well said! I suspect we do not know everything there is to know about the other woman's motives. Sanford is not THAT attractive! And, based on his rambling pressers, he is not that intelligent either.

[LMC]

right on WT!

I'm sure Maria was in love with the fact that he was a potential 2012 Pres. candidate...but once he resigns as Governor with no job prospects in sight, what's left? A Forest Gump character tryin' Michael Jackson dance moves!

[markg8]

Wait until he gets booted out of office and comes down to BA to live with her. Unemployed and unemployable down there with periodic trips back to SC for the public divorce from hell. Or worse yet, he'd want her to move to SC to be with him where she'd be treated like dirt. For the rest of her life (or until she gets a restraining order against him) it'll be "but I gave up my life for you!"

[sukabi]

One thing that's being left out is it was/is Maria's job to research foreign political folks and policies... he could have been spilling more than just seed during their pillow talk....

[queek]

I'd bet Maria's a little freaked out reading about how this Goober is running around telling the world that they're soul mates and talking about her tetas!

[donna]

Well, the payoff while it was secret might have been pretty good for her.... but she's got nuthin' on him now...

[LizDexic]

Did I actually read Woody Allen's quote, "the heart wants what the heart wants" in reference to Sanford? (I think that was in the New Yorker...)

I've always thought that it would have been more accurate to say, "the penis wants what the penis wants."

[watertiger]

Woody Allen's one to talk. Taking up with the stepdaughter? Ew.

[Itchy Brother]

Not only is it presumptuous to assume that she'd want him there, I think it is likely that within a month or two they'd hate each other. Real life never lives up to the fantacy one creates in ones mind. Reading their emails it is clear they are living in la-la land.

[demit]

Didn't I read somewhere that he went down there to throw himself at her feet for forever & ever and she said "Um, no" and that's why he spent only 5 of his planned 7 days there before flying back & by the way that would explain why he said he was crying in Argentina, or am I making all that up?

[amused]

Well said!

Perhaps demit is correct, and that maybe Maria DTMFA.

I hope Mrs. Sanford is able to handle the stress she must be under. It is horrible enough to find out your spouse & father of your children is having affairs, horrible enough to deal with them privately and think they are over. But to then have it all happen again, so publically, and with him flying the midlife crisis flag of shame to "justify" his irresponsible actions. This must be incredibly hard for her. I hope she will find a lot of peace and comfort in her future, because this has to be hell on earth for her.

[pansypoo]

neutered.

[Edith Prickly]

I think Sanford is in ecstasy. After a life as an awkward religo-dork, he thinks he's now perceived as a stud. (Sanford thought balloon: " Wow! Half the country is talking about my love life!") Look at that weird press conference - you couldn't pry him away from the mic, even as his personal and professional life were going up in flames. All he hears is that the world sees him as a ladies man. I think he's living out his fantasy.

[TeddySanFran]

It's very hard for middle-aged married guys to understand that their extracurricular interests might not want to spend the rest of their lives with them. That's why these dudes (lookin' at you, JMM) think Sanford should head to the Argentine. Because Maria's just sitting there, pining away without him.

Unfortunately, the kind of person who gets involved with someone married is very likely to prefer they stay married and that the dalliance remain just that -- a romantic liaison.

Don't ask me how I know this, please. I read it somewhere.

[res ipsa loquitur]

I think Nim @ Eschaton had it right here. He's trying to get the Mrs. to file first. Whoever files first is put at a financial disadvantage. That said, his public, um, utterances, would all become part of the record.

Also, I think JMM is more saying, "Stop embarrassing yourself already!"

[Skepticat]

I'm pleased someone finally mentioned this. I've thought much the same. He really ought to go far, far away, but necessarily to BA.

[moistenedbink]

Oh boy, Mark, Teddy and Res, can I tell you all how spot on you are? When my ex had his first "mid-life" crisis and affair at age 30 I said go ask your married lover (no kids) to give it up for you. He came back after the weekend and told me she said that wasn't a fair request. This was just fantasy, she told him, not reality. Res, when I read that Mrs. Sanford first learned of the affair by discovering the letter to Maria after being asked by Mark to locate some financial records for him I knew he set her up to find it because he wasn't man enough to tell her himself or ask for a divorce. He wanted her to find out, kick him out and file. I know that because that is what my ex did to me. I hung in there (12 years of marriage and 2 small children) and it took 2 years of him pining away for something he couldn't have and in fact never did have. We got better and it was good for about 6 more years and then he went off again. Desperate romance and upheaval and yearning is so much more exciting than raising ornery teenagers and working and paying bills. That's what affairs are mostly about - escape from real life. They aren't real, because the couples don't fight about money or chores, they are always on their best behavior and they have no children to interrupt them. The grass is always greener until they actually try to live together.
Like most affairs, he did not end up marrying either one. He went on to marry someone he met soon after we divorced. This was the guy who didn't need anything from anyone. He always accused me of being to dramatic and emotional. Yet I am independent and still helping my children 6 years after the divorce, while he flew right into a relationship and moved overseas.

[inspector kemp]

I agree with all that, I do think it's an accurate reflection of what's going on there, BUT what drives me crazy is how everyone is focusing on the affair and not the serious dereliction of duty. That's the only thing that should part of the public discussion. Whether he's doing it on purpose or just jumped off the emotional cliff and decided to ride it all the way down the effect of his public declarations of love and all that just distracts from what should be the real issue - he's a governor who has displayed ample evidence of lack of judgement and should not be governing.

[mothra]

Oh, I always thought that he flew down to Argentina after his wife kicked him out to start a new life with Maria. But Maria was all "WTF? and he was all "but I LURV you!" and Maria was all, "Dude, I like you best when you only show up once in a while--I don't want your Southern ass hanging around spooking all my potential lovers ALL the time," and he was all "Oh this is a harsh buzzkill!" and that's why he spent five days crying in Argentina--and came back.

[Silver Owl]

Very well said Watertiger.

I've read and watched Sandford's umm dramatic performance. I just have to say, *gag*, EWWWW. It certainly highlighted his lack of maturity, extereme neediness and self-obsession. I think he should stay in his own apartment, work on being a grown up and get his shit together.

One of the first lessons should be "do not blow off work to get laid unless it is scheduled vacation time."

[Bruce388]

When I was a gummint employee, anyone who didn't show up for work for five consecutive days without contacting the job could be fired for cause.