Gorilla warfare, anyone?
Taliban terrorists have a secret weapon to destroy the infidel American enemy — monkey marksmen.
According to The People’s Daily in China, the Taliban in Afghanistan is “training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops.”
The newspaper’s bizarre story says the Islamic insurgents have drafted macaques and baboons to be all that they can be, arming them with AK-47 rifles, machine guns and trench mortars in the Waziristan tribal region near the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan. The monkeys, being rewarded with bananas and peanuts, are being turned into snipers at a secret Taliban training base.
"You die, Joe!"
"Bananas and peanuts? Why the hell didn't WE think of that?"
/Blackwater
Posted by: dan mcenroe | July 13, 2010 at 10:50 AM
If think that's bad, you better sit down for this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhWfSeMYHA
Posted by: Capt. Bat Guano | July 13, 2010 at 10:52 AM
Looks like Dubya re-enlisted!
Posted by: queek | July 13, 2010 at 12:48 PM
It's a good thing we still have the People's Daily...it keeps me from missing the Weekly World News quite so much.
Posted by: EvilDrPuma | July 13, 2010 at 12:50 PM
Queek, there's no way in hell Dubya would be anywhere near firearms. Or horsies, for that matter.
Posted by: Bruce388 | July 13, 2010 at 02:29 PM
snipers? well, that is almost good enough for wile e coyote.
Posted by: pansypoo | July 13, 2010 at 02:30 PM
Thanks guano, I went to your link only to find my eyes beholding a Doug Giles article link. And no, I did not go in.
Posted by: kate | July 13, 2010 at 05:23 PM
What does the NRA have to say about this?
Posted by: kate | July 13, 2010 at 05:23 PM
Thanks guano, I went to your link only to find my eyes beholding a Doug Giles article link. And no, I did not go in.
Kate, it takes me and it should take you to a vid of Dana Lyon's song "Cows With Guns." Cute little tune.
Posted by: Capt. Bat Guano | July 13, 2010 at 06:15 PM
Well, the Taliban have nothing on the North Koreans. They are going to conquer the world one traffic intersection at a time.
Posted by: karen marie | July 13, 2010 at 08:18 PM
Yes, it did guano, I tried and found it, I was distracted earlier.
As for North Korea, its easy to develop 'technologies' that put people's lives at high risk (i.e., dropping from the ground with no protection) when people's lives are so dispensable.
Sometimes I think we aren't far from that here.
Posted by: kate | July 13, 2010 at 09:25 PM
You don't think those Traffic Platforms are actually shoved out of planes and float gently to the ground, do you?
LOL
Dear Leader has such a sense of humor.
Posted by: karen marie | July 13, 2010 at 11:10 PM
Planet of the Apes is not far behind.
Posted by: Sandia Blanca | July 13, 2010 at 11:39 PM
Of course, People's Daily of China fails to mention that these are simians which have escaped from secret American labs, where they were subjected to horrible chemical and biological experiments, and are just seeking revenge on their tormenters.
Once they're gone, the rest will be leaderless and will hitchhike home to Sumatra and Borneo, any way they can. Monkeys are decidedly non-ideological.
Posted by: montag | July 14, 2010 at 02:16 AM