News that will drive you to drink
Buzzfeed
- Wanna spread a little Santorum on your toast? - That frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum has promised to bribe Iowans by giving them jars of preserves. "We are bringing [40 jars of Santorum jam] to the Straw Poll and we are going to give everybody a sample," threatened Frothy. So who will win the Golden Ticket as it were and take home Baby Gabriel? (TPM)
- Fake Followers for Fake Candidate - Serial adulterer and blow job aficionado Newt Gingrich's campaign is denying vigorously that they bought any followers on Twitter using a company called "PeekYou". Sayeth PeekYou: "@peekyou is not accusing @newtgingrich of buying followers." Didn't pay the bill, eh Newticles? (Politico)
- Unreality Shows - Proving that the media can dig ever deeper into the sludge that is part time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin, TLC announces that in its fall line up is Big Hair Alaska. They are giving a reality show to the hair burner in Wasilla that does Mooselini's hair. (AOL TV)
Rgds,
Tengrain
Well, then. When the Atlantic Ocean/Hudson River starts flooding the Faux Nooz Chunnel's NYC headquarters, maybe the deniers can just blame Spongebob for that?
Posted by: John B. Pierce | August 03, 2011 at 09:33 PM
I thought TLC was scraping the bottom of the barrel with the Snowbilly series, but, I guess they've found a way to knock the bottom out of the barrel.
What's next? America's Top Ten Bag Ladies?
Posted by: montag | August 04, 2011 at 02:38 AM
Willow discovered that Bristol was pregnant because she left EIGHT used pregnancy test kits in the car. Apparently she didn't just borrow the car, Willow scoped it out. And counted. I wonder what else she found?
Perhaps the next TLC reality series can feature teenagers and their cars: each week stopping a "typical" teenage driver and offering a free car-cleaning. After asking him/her to stand aside, the cleaning crew can set to work and pull out every last unmentionable and lay them on the pavement or nearby tables for the "education" of TV viewers at home. Running tallies and color commentary will only add to the hilarity.
Isn't The Learning Channel fun? We can all count along.
Posted by: hauksdottir | August 04, 2011 at 06:47 AM
Despite multi-national corporation Google's claim to the contrary - Santorum proves googlebombing still works.
Posted by: George Johnston | August 04, 2011 at 07:07 AM
The article linked to below begins with these jokes:
For reasons that no major U.S. news outlet can apparently explain, it is really, really, really hot. How hot is it? It was so hot
•“Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.”
•“So hot Charlie Sheen was snorting actual snow.”
•“It was so hot presidential candidate Michele Bachmann was fanning herself with pornography.
•“It was so hot in Washington that Congress had to install a fan on the debt ceiling.”
http://thinkprogress.org/romm/2011/08/03/287308/heat-wave-blood-red-reservoir/
Posted by: Tom | August 04, 2011 at 07:50 AM