News you can use all day
(HuffPo) Gossip-mongering dwarf Chuck Todd waves to his many fans.
- Endorsements - Uptight serial flip-flopping android Willard gets the endorsement of a life time from Christine O'Donnell, best known for declaring that she is not in fact a witch:
“That’s one of the things that I like about him — because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.”
- Merry Christmas fellow hobos - So you are living in a box under the bridge down by the creek and it is Black Friday, what do you do? According to the latest info, people forgo basic necessities to buy a little holiday cheer. Typical holiday categories — electronics, Internet sales, and clothing — saw gains in sales, while basic categories like groceries and building materials lost ground. (WSJ)
- Thank you, Newt! - When serial adulterer and notable blow job aficionado Newticles suggested putting little Jonny to work, did he have Chuck E. Cheese in mind? "Nine Chuck E. Cheese's pizza parlors in the Bay Area have been fined a total of more than $28,000 for violating federal child-labor laws," says the SF Chronicle.