Mitt Romney is warning all REAL Americans that the Socialist Communist Barack HEUSSEIN Obama has a secret plan to remove God from our coins! If he is reelected, on day one, he will unleash his army of highly-trained Kenyan Coin-filing Ninjas to file off the word "God" on every U.S. coin.
But rest assured, Mitt Romney won't do that.
"I will not take God out of our platform. I will not take God off our coins, and I will not take God out of my heart."
Holy shit! It's true! He's gonna take our God word from our coins just like he's gonna take our guns! That stiff robot-like guy just told us so!
The Obama campaign shot back.
"It’s disappointing to see Mitt Romney try to throw a Hail Mary by launching extreme and untrue attacks against the President and associating with some of the most strident and divisive voices in the Republican Party, including Rep. Steve King and Pat Robertson. This isn’t a recipe for making America stronger, it’s a recipe for division and taking us backward."
Though, just to be safe, better hide all your coins with all your guns.