Mitt Romney is warning all REAL Americans that the Socialist Communist Barack HEUSSEIN Obama has a secret plan to remove God from our coins! If he is reelected, on day one, he will unleash his army of highly-trained Kenyan Coin-filing Ninjas to file off the word "God" on every U.S. coin.
But rest assured, Mitt Romney won't do that.
"I will not take God out of our platform. I will not take God off our coins, and I will not take God out of my heart."
Holy shit! It's true! He's gonna take our God word from our coins just like he's gonna take our guns! That stiff robot-like guy just told us so!
The Obama campaign shot back.
"It’s disappointing to see Mitt Romney try to throw a Hail Mary by launching extreme and untrue attacks against the President and associating with some of the most strident and divisive voices in the Republican Party, including Rep. Steve King and Pat Robertson. This isn’t a recipe for making America stronger, it’s a recipe for division and taking us backward."
Oh snap!
Though, just to be safe, better hide all your coins with all your guns.
--twolf
Be sure to bury all of them really deep in your backyard and make sure there are no ientifying marks where you did it, so the black helicopter crews won't be able to find them.
Posted by: DrDick | September 08, 2012 at 05:27 PM
Romney must be even more desperate than I thought.
Posted by: Mr. Flibble | September 08, 2012 at 07:34 PM
There is something seriously wrong with Romney.
Posted by: M.K. in NC | September 08, 2012 at 07:56 PM
On the obverse it might read:
'E Pluribus Bain'
Posted by: queek | September 08, 2012 at 09:17 PM
will god be changed to mammon under mitt?
Posted by: pansypoo | September 08, 2012 at 09:59 PM
After all, Jesus threw all the dirty fucking hippies out of the temple. Right?
Posted by: George Johnston | September 08, 2012 at 10:28 PM
Pretty funny coming from a guy who shortchanged his god on his membership dues.
Posted by: montag | September 09, 2012 at 06:09 AM
Reagan had Alzheimers, Mitt has dementia.
Today's flip flop is the statement that he'll keep the good parts of Obamacare. You know, the ones that have been costing him votes for saying he would repeal them.
Posted by: Oh Susannah | September 09, 2012 at 10:35 AM
This made me flash to Get Your War On in 2008, one of the best of the best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBv3BKY_604&feature=player_embedded#!
Posted by: Capt. Bat Guano | September 09, 2012 at 10:54 AM