Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

(Petunia and Pals) Jeebus! Is Petunia so stupid that she doesn't know how taxes work? Do blondes peroxide in the woods?

• And so it starts - Hey guys, remember that time when Cardinal Frothy Santorum (ewww, gross!) won 4 million votes and eleven pig-kissing contests primaries, but didn't win the nomination by a long shot? Me Neither!, but anyway, he's now on record declaring for the GOP's 2016 Goat Rodeo! The fun never stops with the forced-birth, rape-is-a-gift-from-God Xristian Xrazie theocratic scolds! (The Weekly Standard)
• The War on Men - Hey did you guys know that ancient self-loathing Harpy Phyllis Schlafly has a niece? She does! And her niece offers today's feminazis exactly the kind of analysis that the old gargoyle would offer herself. (Fox News)
• Kirk Cameron: The Next Generation The half-man from Two and a Half Men is now officially a Xristian Xrazie, and is telling us not to watch the devil's own TeeVee (2 1/2 Men) or face eternal peril. This is one I'm happy to already be on top of: never watched it, you stupid, self-righteous git. (Mediaite)

--Tengrain

Comments

[uzza]

If you never watch TV, how do you get all those fox news[sic] videos?
Just curious.

[Mr. Flibble]

For the crazies, failure is just proof that you need to double down. By that standard, Sanctimonious Santorum may well be running for president until the day he dies.

[mir13]

I loves me some Petunia and Pals. It is what brought me here. And please, don't change their names. The Dumb One, and the Other Dumb One are perfect. Simple and uncomplicated, not unlike the idiots themselves.

I'm not sure, though, what bothers Petunia more: that they got stomped in the election that's still going on, according to her; or that people who aren't lobbyists would actually interact with their elected representatives.

Fuckin' Democracy. Git some, Bitchez!

[Randall]

OK, Angus, I'll stop watching -- just as soon as you give all the money back that you made doing the show. K?