News you can use all day
(Petunia and Pals) Petunia: "Are we nuts?" -- the War on Christmas continues!
- Conspiracies! - Everyone knows that the United Nations is going to take away God-fearing 'Merkins' guns, right? Well, what are they up to now, and who will defend us from their black helicopters? Cardinal Frothy Santorum, that's who! Anyway, there is a new treaty on the Rights of the Disabled, and Frothy is leading the charge to crash it on the rocks, for freedom. He told the press that we have to destroy this treaty because it might prevent good Xristian Xrazies from home schooling their kids. No, really. Oh, and bonus points: he brought along his favorite prop: Bella Santorum. (Raw Story)
- Drowning Man Swims to Sinking Ship - Yup, it really does look like Jeff Zucker, former head of NBCUniversal and current Katie Couric talk-show producer is in the running to take over CNN. Zucker was tossed out of NBC after Comcast bought it. (LATimes)
- Word Choice - Obvious anagram Reince Priebus says that he will perform an autopsy on the GOP following their historic fail in the 2012 Goat Rodeo:
"I don't think you can draw any quick conclusions other than the fact that we lost and we know that," Reince Priebus said Tuesday on CNN's "Piers Morgan Tonight," the chairman's first television interview since the election. "But in order to get back in the game, you've got to look at and do a full autopsy of what happened."
The knee-bone is connected to the thigh-bone, Reince. The problem is that the GOP has created a monster and has lost control of it, Einstein. It's not your messaging, it is Republicanism itself that was rejected. (Political Ticker)