Happy Hour News Briefs

News on the rocks

War on Christmas has a fifth columnist: Sean Hannity!

• Voting Rights and Wrongs - Paleolithic hate goblin and notable self-loathing woman Phyllis Schlafly must have be having a good oxygen flow day. Anyway, the old Gorgon noticed that nearly half of the United States voted early! Early, she's never heard of such a thing! Why the very idea of it! Back when she was hanging out with Betsy Ross, no one voted early! Mrs. Schlafly disapproves because, well you know, "they" voted for The Kenyan Usurper, so of course now we must end the peril of early voting. It's the only way to return to an America she once loved. The End. (The Schlafly Report)
• Loser Says Cheaters Prosper - Famous crazy person and would-be contender for the Norm Coleman Poor Loser Award, Allen West takes his poor losing to "11" and vaguely accuses Patrick Murphy of cheating to win the election. Of course, he offers no proof of it, but still, it must be true because voices in his head tell him it's the only way he could have lost. (Think Progress)
• Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood - Won't you heathens take some time to give a helping hand this Holiday Season Christmas, and help Xristian Xrazie Gary Cass decide which were the "10 most egregious acts of anti-Christian defamation, discrimination and persecution in America," because it wouldn't be the holidays without some good, old-fashioned victimhood. (Defend Christians)

--Tengrain

Comments

[Wayne Dickson]

Have to think a bit about the most egregious assaults question, but I know the approach I'll take: "With friends like this, who needs enemies?"

Which things said by which Kristian Krazy has made the entire religion look worst? Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson and Bryan Fischer will all certainly be in the running.

[pansypoo]

easier than admitting your message sucks.