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January 18, 2013

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Dear Abby,

After drinking several cups of mint tea daily for a severe head cold, I became desensitized to ordinary mint and now require catnip tea in ever-increasing quantities. Tension Tamer is the only legal option, but the manager at Safeway just put out a notice that there is a 20-box per day limit on purchases... and ID is required.

I tried to grow my own plants, however my grandmother threatened to throw me out after finding me catatonic in her herb garden. This was only a week after she mistook it for cilantro and everyone fell asleep at dinner, so perhaps she is justified in being upset. Oh, and there was the incident at school with the science fair project and the grow lights.

What can I do? Without it, I can't relax, I can't sleep, I can't dream.

Sign me,

Tea'd Off

Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours — blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? — Nob Hill Residents

Dear Residents: You could move.

i always liked ann landers better.

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