News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Fact-free 5ive) Faux Noise hard at work: All that is missing is hair pulling.

• Outreach - Wingnuttia held its minorities and women outreach planning sessions at an exclusive (restricted?) golf resort located on the site of a former ante-bellum plantation, specifically in the 374-seat Burwell Plantation Room. But not to worry, Vaginal Probe enthusiast Gov. Rob McDonnell sets us straight:

  "“This is about tone," McDonnell said, as quoted by the Washington Post. "It’s about messaging and it’s about showing people what we’re for instead of what we’re against."

  Couldn't have said it better myself, Bob. (TPM)

• Whipped - Famous Appalachian Trail-hiking fiend and amateur castanets impresario former SC Governor Mark Sanford checked with his ex-wife to seek her permission before announcing his running for Congress (and not for south of the border). (TPM)
• RIP, Dear Abby - Pauline Friedman Phillips has gone to the great advice column in the sky after a long battle with Alzheimer's Disease. She was 94. The Dear Abby column is now written by her daughter, also named Pauline Phillips, so the tradition continues. (WaPo)

--Tengrain

Comments

[Felix]

Dear Abby,

After drinking several cups of mint tea daily for a severe head cold, I became desensitized to ordinary mint and now require catnip tea in ever-increasing quantities. Tension Tamer is the only legal option, but the manager at Safeway just put out a notice that there is a 20-box per day limit on purchases... and ID is required.

I tried to grow my own plants, however my grandmother threatened to throw me out after finding me catatonic in her herb garden. This was only a week after she mistook it for cilantro and everyone fell asleep at dinner, so perhaps she is justified in being upset. Oh, and there was the incident at school with the science fair project and the grow lights.

What can I do? Without it, I can't relax, I can't sleep, I can't dream.

Sign me,

Tea'd Off

[Teddy Partridge]

Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours — blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? — Nob Hill Residents

Dear Residents: You could move.

[pansypoo]

i always liked ann landers better.