News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) The couch of Dumbs ask Donald Trump about North Korea because: why not?

• International Crime Syndicate to meet in secret - The College of Cardinals is having their pre-meeting before the real meeting wherein they elect a new Godfather, I guess to go over Powerpoints and stuff? Try to figure out who can vote and who cannot because of pending scandals and indictments for pedophilia and whatnot? Scribble their phone numbers on confessional stalls? Hire strippers? Research extradition laws? Who knows?! It's a secret! (Raw Story)
• Lowest Prices Always - The Kenyan Usurper is naming Walmart director and Clinton-era throwback Sylvia Mathews Burwell as the next director of the Office of Management and Budget. (TPM)
• Discrimination! - The leader of notable hate group Family Research Council Tony Perkins says that ending discrimination agains LGBTQ people would effectively destroy the freedom of religion in America. He's talking about ENDA (Employee Non-Discrimination Act) and how it must be defeated:

  “And no battle could be more urgently important than the battle against NEDA [sic]. The rights of more than 60 million Americans – the right to live and share our faith and live according to biblical values – are literally at risk of being vaporized by a single vote of Congress or the stroke of the President’s pen.”

  Love your neighbor as you would yourself (unless he's a cock-gobbler, then BUUUUUUUUUUUURN him!) must be in a new edition. (Right Wing Watch)

--Tengrain

Comments

[Mr. Flibble]

Love your neighbor as you would yourself (unless he's a cock-gobbler, then BUUUUUUUUUUUURN him!) must be in a new edition.

The definition of "neighbor" has always been a fuzzy gray area in the minds of many Christians. Jesus defined what he meant by it, but of course the purest, most devoted Christians don't actually read those words printed in red in their KJV.

[oldswede]

Will the Cardinals be back from Rome in time for the season opener?

[centerfielddj]

I think it's funny as hell that Petunia and Pals has decided that Donald Trump needs to be included as a regular cast character, so fine are his sagelike and popular pronouncements.

Even funnier is that Donald is willing to do so, but only at his maximum convenience. Getting dressed up and traveling to the studio? Fuck that. Getting all shouty into the phone while at his office or in his pee-jays at home? Sure.