Rev. Fishsticks has a hard-on for high-pitched squealer Ted Cruz, who just like Elijah the prophet totally read Green Eggs and Ham in front of an audience of asses.
- Appointments! - The GOP's Boy Exorcist and notable Volcano Scholar Bobby "Bubba" Jindal has appointed Tony Perkins—the president of famous hate group Family Research Council—to the LA. Law Enforcement Commission. (Capitol City News)
- Glass Slippers - The man who thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night, more than Lucky Pierre (the towel boy at the L.A. Mineshaft) Matt LaBarbera is upset over the transgender teen who was named homecoming queen at Marina High School in Huntington Beach. "Someday My Prince Will Come," LaBarbera did not hum to himself before sobbing into his Little Mermaid pillow case. (One News Now)
- Bachmann-the-Nut speaks! - This might be the quote of the day:
“We’re not talking about the Lutheran Brotherhood here, we’re talking about the Muslim Brotherhood!”