News that will drive you to drink
Free-range conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck finds a dark and sinister message in the White House Pastry Chef's resignation: Michelle Obama is nuts.
- Cheers! - We begin with a round of beer! Ancient Hate Goblin and author of gruesome abecedarian works Phyllis Schlafly is fighting her family to protect her family's good, dog-fearing name from being associated with the demon Beer, Schlafly Beer to be exact. Brewed by her nephew, who is also a Schlafly. Why? because alcohol has a connotation that is the opposite of conservative values. You know, like having fun or camaraderie. (News Max)
- Quincy! - You cannot make this up: Liquid Church of NJ Hires CSI Detective to Lead Cold Case Investigation into Jesus Christ's Death & Resurrection
- And we conclude with a mug of beer from all-around fun guy the Catholic League's Bill Donohue waxing eloquent on how he is gonna stick it to Guinness Beer: