Dependable Renegade

Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

self-confessed confident of God One-L wants a spiritual warfare (Crusade? Yes) to enforce her theocratic agenda

• World Nut Daily tells us that if only Bill Clinton's penis had been removed from office (and they blame Ken Starr for shirking his duties!) in the '90s, then Behghazi! Behghazi! BENGHAZI! would never have happened.
• The WaPo tells us that Senator Aqua Buddha (R - Cheap Toupee) is trying for an image-remake to make him more appealling to the Xristian Xrazies:

  "Earlier this spring, Sen. Rand Paul and his wife, Kelley, invited a crew from the Christian Broadcasting Network into their Kentucky home for what turned into two full days of reality TV. In a half-hour special, “At Home With Rand Paul,” the couple are seen bird-watching in the woods, going to McDonald’s and, especially, talking about religion — their belief in traditional marriage and the senator’s call for a “spiritual cleansing” in America."

  Can we vote Aqua Buddha off the island, please?

• The Christian Post's chock full o' nuts Star Parker celebrates the return of Mark Kiss Me South of the Border Sanford to national politics:

  Put me down as happy to see former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford coming back to Washington. Earlier this week he handily defeated Elizabeth Colbert Busch in a special election for a House seat he himself once held.

  [snip]

  He has always been a consistent, principled, and courageous conservative. And he has always done it with showmanship and clarity that gets the points across to voters.

  [snip]

  When the National Republican Congressional Committee pulled their support from Sanford's race following the news that he trespassed in the home of his former wife (to watch the Super Bowl with his son), support came in from both FreedomWorks PAC and the National Right to Life PAC.

  Sanford's persona pulled in two streams of conservatives – the economic conservatives and the social conservatives – that many see at odds with each other.

  A seasoned, principled, and exciting conservative politician and leader is exactly what Republicans need today.

  Welcome back to Washington, Mark Sanford.

--Tengrain

PS - I'm travelling so News Briefs might be intermittent.

Yyyyyeah, about that Constitution....

It's just a piece of paper, amirite?

The U.S. Department of Justice notified The Associated Press on Friday, May 10, that it had secretly obtained telephone records for more than 20 separate telephone lines assigned to AP journalists and offices, including cell and home phone lines.

AP is asking the DOJ for an immediate explanation of the extraordinary action and for the records to be returned to AP and all copies destroyed.  

Hey, if you've got nothing to hide, then what's the problem? Isn't that the usual rationale?

--WT

Oooh, aren't we Mr. Fancypants!

With the frilly edges and such.

--WT

Kewl.

--WT

News Briefs

News you can use all day

Neck with a mouth Chuck Todd is outraged that the Cincinnati IRS under a Chimpy McStagger appointee targeted conservative money laundering Teabaggers.

• Told ya! - The Living Museum of 1980s Power Ties George Will floated the idea of impeaching The Kenyan Usurper for the IRS auditing money-laundering Teabagging organizations, and meanwhile staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles says that The Kenyan "will not profile terrorists but profile patriots." Noot is slipping: He left out the Basically and Essentially. (Raw Story and TPM)
• Basically, the owner of the cheapest toupee in Congress, Senator Aqua Buddha essentially has lost his mind:

  Paul said the United Nations would “CONFISCATE and DESTROY ALL” of civilian firearms in the United States and ban the sale of all semi-automatic weapons. He also alleged the United Nations was controlled by “petty dictators and one-world socialists” who were plotting to usurp American sovereignty.

  “These anti-gun globalists know that as long as Americans remain free to make our own decisions without being bossed around by big government bureaucrats, they’ll NEVER be able to seize the worldwide power they crave,” Paul wrote.

  (Raw Story)

• Happy Mothers' Day - As many as 3 different gunmen opened fire on a Mothers' Day Parade in New Orleans with 18 confirmed wounded, so far no one has died. (Think Progress)

--Tengrain

Wait, when did I get a job

writing for Family Guy?

 

--WT

 

"Goddammit. I need THUMBS!"

 

--WT

Caturday freakout.

 

--WT

Happy Hour News Briefs

Drink-up, Bitchez!

Famous baby-mill operator One-L tells us that 9/11 And Benghazi were God's judgment

• Notable eugenics scholar and author of the widely-panned Heritage Foundation study on the true cost of immigrants ($6.3T!!!) smarmy goatee'd Jason Richwine has resigned. OK, Mr. DeMint, you're next. (WaPo)
• I'd go with Thing Two - Xristian Xrazie mom Cathy Ruse of the notable hate group Family Research Council is very upset that the Obama Education Department changed official government documents to indicate parent 1 and parent 2, and defies The Kenyan Usurper to tell her daughters that she is not their mom. (FRCblog)
• Shorter Janet Shaw Crouse: Uppity N*****. Now, the full quote:

  "As someone with a doctorate in communication theory who spent years analyzing presidential speeches and studying political rhetoric, I've never seen a presidential speech that was more repulsively self-centered and insidiously self-serving; nor has a previous president operated in campaign mode so unrelentingly throughout his presidency, regardless of the occasion or circumstances."

  Janet Shaw Crouse was apparently asleep all during the Chimpy McStagger years. (American Thinker)

--Tengrain

If only the dude had been armed with a hippo,

he could have avoided this:

"There was a terrible, sulphurous smell, like rotten eggs, and a tremendous pressure against my chest," Paul Templer said, recalling the moment he realized he had been swallowed by a hippopotamus.

So where does the anti-hippo lobby come down on this?

"Remember, kids: guns don't kill people...Hippos do!"

[h/t JeffCO]

--WT