Noted boy exorcist and volcano scholar Bobby Jindal's office might literally be stealing them blind… to cover the cost of a lawsuit following a sweetheart deal. (Livewire)
Apologies - Ghastly and ghoulish teabagging candidate for Senate Dr. Milton Wolf displays his bedside manner as he apologizes for the ghastly and ghoulish images and commentary he once posted to Facebook:
"Several years ago I made some comments about these images that were insensitive to the seriousness of what the images revealed. Soon thereafter, I removed those images and comments, again several years ago," Wolf said in a statement on his campaign website.
"For them to be published in a much more public context now, by a political adversary who would rather declare war on doctors than answer serious questions that Kansans have, is truly sad. However, my mistakes are my own and I take full responsibility for them."
Translation from the original weasel-ese: "None of you would know about my ghastly and ghoulish opinions and humor—that I posted to the world's foremost social media platform—if it were not for my opponent. I'm sorry you had to learn about them from a political campaign, instead of while on the slab, where I would make fun of your gruesome death," he did not say with a sickening smile. (Livewire)
If Saturday is Caturday, and Sunday is Sundog, what day celebrates Giant Festering Human Anal Fissures?
As ExxonMobil’s CEO, it’s Rex Tillerson’s job to promote the hydraulic fracturing enabling the recent oil and gas boom, and fight regulatory oversight. The oil company is the biggest natural gas producer in the U.S., relying on the controversial drilling technology to extract it.
The exception is when Tillerson’s $5 million property value might be harmed. Tillerson has joined a lawsuit that cites fracking’s consequences in order to block the construction of a 160-foot water tower next to his and his wife’s Texas home.
That's right -- in the U.S. of A., EVERY day celebrates sociopathological hypocrites.
Free-range conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck invites us into his staff editorial meeting, where he informs us that the US is the stink on the crap pile. I think he was trying to sell gold to preppers, but who knows!
A Dream Come True - Triple-threat candidate Lawyer/Dentist/Real Estate impresario and Birther Queen Orly Taitz (Motto:a nut for all seasons a nut for all reasons) has filed paperwork to run for the office of California Attorney General. (Raw Story)
Spine of Jello - Following the predictably fact-free freak-out of Wingnuttia's Mighty Wurlitzer, the FCC has shelved their plans to study barriers to access of the news media. Said Ajit Pai, (the wingnut that The Kenyan Usurper appointed to the FCC) who started this crazeee train rolling down the tracks:
“This is an important victory for the First Amendment,” he said in a statement. “And it would not have been possible without the American people making their voices heard. I will remain vigilant that any future initiatives not infringe on our constitutional freedoms.”
I guess Sportsman Channel couldn't afford to get Sarah Palin a pole?
Cat-scratched Fever - Even theocrat nitwit secessionist Rick Perry, a man who owns N*****head Ranch, thinks that Nugent went too far in calling the Kenyan Usurper a Subhuman Mongrel. (Raw Story)
Cantaloupe Calves, redux - Colorado crazy person Steve King continues to say that DREAMers are drug mules:
"So I'm not going to apologize. What I've said is objectively true. And any time that Republicans have criticized me, it's not because of what I said, it's because they disagree with my agenda. That's really the answer."
Get Off The Cross - One-time preznintial candidate and theocrat Gary Bauer wishes that everyone would understand that the gays in Sochi are not the victims, the Xristian Xrazies right here in 'Murika are the real victims! (Daily Caller)
Texas! - For a moment there, the Lone Star State (motto: US National Lab for Bad Gubmint) was almost looking mild compared to Kansas, South Carolina and whatnot, but they're coming back strong in the Crazeee State Contest:
At least three Republican candidates — including one incumbent — in this year’s Texas State Board of Education elections say they “strongly disagree” that “it is the government’s responsibility to be sure children are properly educated.” The same candidates also say they “strongly agree” that “free market competition for education dollars” would be better than a “government monopoly.” “Free market competition” is the core argument for advocates of private school vouchers, which take tax dollars from public schools to pay tuition for students admitted to private and religious schools.
Say Bye-Bye - The recently unsealed evidence shows that Koch Brothers' asset Gov. Scott Walker (the wall-eyed git that they hired to be a middle manager of what is essentially now a mining operation) may have been involved in — or at least aware of — illegal coordination between his 2010 gubernatorial campaign and his Milwaukee County Executive office, you know, a felony if true. The investigation continues. (Think Progress)
Readin', Writin', and Restrictin' - South Carolina (Motto: "Seething Hotbed of Unbridled Lust) State Representative Garry Smith is proposing cutting $52,000 from the operating budget of the College of Charleston, and $17,142 from the University of South Carolina Upstate to punish them for requiring books he considers pornographic, Alison Bechdel’s award-winning graphic novel Fun Home and the compilation Out Loud: The Best of Rainbow Radio. (Side note: Bechdel's book is terrific.) (Raw Story)
Budgeting! - After hearing conspiracy theories on Common Core from his colleagues, Missouri House Education Committee Chairman Mike Lair (R) allocated $8 for "two rolls of high density aluminum to create headgear designed to deflect drone and/or black helicopter mind reading and control technology." (Livewire)
Misogynist harpy Phyllis Schlafly claims that immigrants will end "freedom and prosperity" in the US and make the rest of us (white?) Americans into "slaves."
Saddle-up another goat - Diabetes hate-burger enthusiast and secret squirrel fryer, theocrat Uncle Sugar Mike Huckabee is heading to Iowa in April to keynote an event for the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition. Sure sounds like he is running (or grifting). (Tiger Beat on the Potomac)
Todd Starnes Has a Dream - Always wrong Todd Starnes hopes that The Kenyan Usurper will not judge white men by the color of their skin, while MLK weeps. (Fox News)
Temptation - The real Trojan Horse (so to speak) in legalizing same sex marriage is that it will encourage straight men to grease-up and take a walk on the wild side, says author of laughably flawed gay parenting study Mark Regenerus. (Good As You)
What's the Matter with Kansas Now? - A legislator in The Sunflower State has proposed a bill that would allow teachers, caregivers, parents, well just about anyone, to spank unruly kids. It would allow up to 10 strikes of the hand hard enough to leave redness and bruising. May we suggest as a soundtrack while you do the deed: Beat on the Brat (With A Baseball Bat). (Raw Story)
What's the Matter with Arkansas? - Meet State Rep. Nate Bell, who says openly that he doesn’t want to "educate uninsured residents about their new health care options because it’s simply too expensive to provide them with insurance." Anyway, he's proposed legislation that would forbid Arkansas from using federal funds to promote Obamacare:
“We’re trying to create a barrier to enrollment,” Bell explained, noting that lower enrollment ultimately translates to lower costs. “In general, as a conservative, if I have the opportunity to reduce government spending in a program from what’s projected… I’m probably going to take that deal.”
North Carolina - Hey guys, remember Drew Swope the hero-chef in North Carolina who was rude to thin-skinned cowardly bully Gov. McCrory and subsequently was fired? The Mayor of Charlotte Pat Cannon, is helping Swope to find another job. I guess Mayor Cannon should worry that McCrory might shut down his bridges or something. (Livewire)
Breaking: L.A. Archdiocese settles final priest abuse case for $13 million The settlement ends a decade of abuse litigation that cost the Catholic Church more than $740 million. (L.A. Times)