Dependable Renegade

Hagel's confirmation hearing

Chuck Hagel's confirmation hearing for Defense Secretary:

 

--twolf

Rupac

Republican strategist Nicolle Wallace on GOP savior Sen. Marco Rubio:

“He’s modern. He knows who Tupac is. He is on social media.”

Tupac Shakur was killed almost 17 years ago. So modern.

--twolf

Sproing!

[via reddit]

--twolf

Happy Hour News Briefs

Drink-up, Bitchez!

Rev. Fishhips says that The Kenyan Usurper "is an anti-christ."

• Career Advice - Cindy Jacobs, she of the shoe-and-good-tire-mileage miracles tells us how she became a respected prophet. No, really. (Charisma Magazine)
• Grifters gotta grift - Faux Noise contributor and forensic psychiatrist Dr Keith "Quack-quack" Ablow has decided that the Murdoch dollar is a very good dollar and will not run for John Kerry's now-empty Senate seat. (Fox Boston)
• Grifters Gotta Grift 2 - Disgraced Moral Majority evangelical grifter, Indian Casino grifter, and Faith and Freedom Coalition founder Ralph Reed—who continuously says that The Kenyan is waging a “war on religion” and trampling on “religious liberty”—that same Ralphie wants the government to end its “Save America’s Treasures Grants” to the National Cathedral because the Cathedral decided to perform same-sex marriages. Um, anyone else see any contradictions with Ralphie's thinking? (Faith and Freedom Coalition)

--Tengrain

News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) ¡Geraldo! reveals that he needs his job.

• The War on Women - Guess what, Ladies? Having control of your body (let's be honest: your woo-woo) will be a crime if Xristian Xrazy Iowa State Rep. Tom Shaw has his way. He says that he authored House File 138 to protect human life, whether “you’re a zygote, an infant, a teenager or an adult," and would define abortion as murder, sending doctors and raped women who terminate pregnancies to jail. So I repeat myself: How's that rebranding thing working out for you fellas? Anyone? Anyone? Cantor? (Raw Story)
• Women Strike Back! - A survey released by Women Donors Network shows that women voters who usually don’t vote in midterm elections are more likely to vote in 2014 on the issue of gun violence. (TPM)
• Narcissistic sociopath is narcissistic - So... what's Chimpy been up to lately, you know, now that his isn't galavanting across the globe wrecking economies and starting wars? Nothing much, just painting pictures of himself naked. (Raw Story)

--Tengrain

Happy Hour News Briefs

News with a twist

We're glad to learn that Rev. Fishballs tells us he's talked to mental health professionals.

• Sweet Jeebus - Noted Penny Marshall impersonator and televangelist Wendy Alec "frees" The Kenyan Usurper from the demonic clutches of the Jezebel spirit that has been haunting him. (YouTube)
• Ancient hate goblin Phyllis Schlafly now blames video games for the shootings at Sandy Hook, but it was the Feminist teachers who caused the shootings at Virginia Tech, so maybe this is improvement for the old Gorgon?
• Death and Taxes - "An Oregon man has filed a lawsuit against an IRS agent with whom he had sex, claiming he was coerced into the relationship because the woman showed up at his door provocatively attired and threatened him with a tax penalty." Most people get screwed by an IRS agent while being audited, few get a chance to screw an IRS agent during one. (Associated Press)

--Tengrain

News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) If it is Thursday, it must be Malkkkin. In today's episode, she takes on Chris Rock, Sandra Fluke, and Damon Wayons.

• It's Baaa-aack! - Wingnuttia (Michigan Chapter) has introduced legislation requiring all women to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before obtaining an abortion. So how's that rebranding effort working out for you, fellas? (TPM)
• War on Women, Cont. - So down in Dixie (Dicks-y?) Alabama state Sen. Shadrack McGill (R-Sisterf***) lamented that “you can be charged up to $250,000 for destroying an eagle egg, but you can destroy babies in the womb?” So he is pursuing another personhood bill because the Bible proves that a fetus "is life inside of a mother.” Now of course, being a good old boy, he's not playing God, he’s just not sure if aborted babies are going to Heaven or Hell. I will repeat myself: How's that rebranding effort working out for you fellas? (Raw Story)
• Isn't it Romantic - A Jewelry Store in South Carolina is promoting Valentine's Day with a free shotgun with a $1500 purchase:

  "A shotgun as a Valentine's Day present I think a lot of guys would like and the girl gets jewelry too so I think it's a win for both."

  Sexism AND violence! Win-win! (TPM)

--Tengrain

Happy Hour News Briefs

News straight-up

(Fact-Free 5ive) Flash-mobs are just liberals in hoodies.

• Godwin's Law - Home of conspiracy theorists, World Nut Daily's Barry Farber says that Gay Rights Advocates are 'homogrifying' the Boy Scouts, and he then goes on to compare gays to Nazi invaders in Oslo. OK, fairly standard stuff in Wingnuttia, but then there is the quote of the day, too/also:

  "In our Southern culture, you weren’t a “man” until you’d “slugged a queer” who approached you. I failed the test. I always just rejected the advance and got out of there."

  The whole article is just a big bucket of extra-crispy crazy. (World Nut Daily, and remember: they are the employer of that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter, Cardinal Frothy Santorum)

• Dickless! - Tigerbeat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) confirms that Dick Morris has been fired by Fox News, and SCOOP: he appeared on CNN, which is absolutely the real-world equivalent of a drowning man swimming to a sinking ship.
• Reflexive Martyrdom? -"Liberty Counsel founder Mat Staver tells OneNewsNow he is not surprised at the findings because "it's what the administration has been relying upon for the so-called classification of hate groups." He recalls that Secretary Janet Napolitano and her Department of Homeland Security developed a list of potential domestic terrorists, including such organizations as the American Family Association and the Family Research Council."

  I do not recall this at all, and I would have noted it if this happened! Matt, get off the cross, we need the wood. Some people. Jeebus. (One News Now)

--Tengrain

Why do they hate America?

Oh those crazy teabagging uber-patriots. A bunch (or at least one) of them want to take their ball and go home to their pouting closet -- a walled fortress community named The Citadel.

The Citadel will be located in Idaho, former home base of the Aryan Nation, but will not be inhabited by "a bunch of Wackos/Cultists/Racists" as stated in their FAQ.

It will no doubt be, as the website states, "a bastion of Liberty in America," except for the part where you have to agree to the 13 points of their crazy Citadel Patriot Agreement -- five of which have to do with kids using guns.

From the concept drawing of the community, we can see that they plan to have their own arms factory (already set up in WV) which will employ the "first wave of pioneers."  After a long day of screwing buttplates on AR-15s, residents can take a stroll through the firearms museum, then sit for a spell and gaze into the calm waters of the reflecting pool as they ponder shooting people that don't look or think like them. So relaxing, so peaceful.

So by now, you are probably chomping at the bit to sign up and figure out how much it will cost you to live within the walls of The Citadel. Remember, every Citadel home comes with 1 or 2 AR15-variant rifles and 1,000 rounds of ammunition per rifle so you can get your freedom-loving liberty shooting on the second you move in.

"If Liberty has been missing from the life of your family, consider the Citadel for your new home."

--twolf

Don't bitch about the sofa arms, mmkay?

Via Reddit

--WT